The Laughing Toastmaster: All You Need is LIKES. Love in the Age of Social Media

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Love in the Age of Social Media

When my boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Valentine’s Day I didn’t hesitate, ‘Can you get all your office colleagues to LIKE my page’?

Yes Toastmasters, it has come to this, I don’t want to be loved, I want to be LIKED. Boyfriend can send cards and flowers, but that won’t make me feels as loved as 50 new LIKES. As the Beatles’ song would say now, ‘LIKE, LIKE me do’.

This isn’t me talking. Experts say social media is changing our concept of love and in the future our self-worth will be measured by the number LIKES, FOLLOWS, FRIENDED and LITTLEHEARTS we get. Guess I’m just ahead of the times! With 7.63 billion people in the world, the opportunities are endless!

Of course, many people moan and say it’s the end of romance and that getting an e-card is like drinking decaf coffee, you don’t feel anything and it’s sad. Millennials on the other hand will cry, ‘You want a PAPER card?’ and accuse you of personally destroying the Amazon, the forests, the eco-system, the planet, the universe, the future, their livelihood, the-possibility-of-ever-buying-a-home-I-resent-you … you old fogey.

Being an old fogey myself (defined as someone who still uses Facebook), I admit it’s difficult for these youngsters-doomed-to-live-with-mum-for-the-rest-of-their-lives…to comprehend what went on in ‘fogey times’.

  • When ‘strong or weak’ did not refer to passwords, but traits of your future husband.
  • A hashtag (#) was the first step to playing Ticktacktoe, not a way to communicate with as little effort as possible. #IluvU
  • Click-through Rate (CTR) was how many times your husband changed channels on the TV remote control and Conversion Rate (CR) was strictly for religions.
  • If you FOLLOWED someone it was stalking and GOING VIRAL was a pandemic waiting to happen.
  • Lastly, a HANDLE was attached to a door and PLATFORMS were reserved for 1970 shoes.

Please understand, I’m not against social media, on the contrary! I believe it comes with love-enhancing opportunities that us ‘old fogeys’ would have relished!

Let’s start with dating. Remember those blind dates your well-meaning friends hooked you up with? The date would turn up with the personality of an amoeba and more dandruff than a tax inspector? Then it turned out he WAS a tax inspector? Now you can google them to death and then check Tinder, Grinder and REMINDER to swipe them left. Forever.

Equally reassuring are ‘dinner dates’ which today consist of sharing pics of your Deliveroo while texting ‘Yummy’. What a relief not to worry about stupid chit chat or having to drown your burps while eating that enchilada.

Remember those love letters people wrote? (Ok, I wrote). So long and convoluted they made War and Peace look like a Tweet? Such a waste of time! I never got any action anyway. Nowadays just send an inappropriate pic of yourself and you’re in!

Then there’s the ‘Wedding Scene’. Gone are the days when you picked the bridesmaids because they were your friends. Now you choose them because they’re photogenic. No budget for your wedding? No worries! Get married in front of a green screen background and post a Bahamas wedding! Because what’s important are not the vows, but … you guessed it, the LIKES. Never mind your honeymoon includes sending round-the-clock pics to your 801,702 followers, because if you don’t post, it’s like it never happened. Today Descartes would claim, ‘I POST, therefore I am’.

Now you’re married and it’s all about ‘puppy love’. Not that pimply, prepubescent love of yesteryear. Today it’s about your puppy in a Cupid Costume with hubby and you in the background kissing. #AdorablyCute. A billion LIKES!

Finally, its break-up time, better known as #HateUDivorceU. Millennials have it so easy! No more awkward moments when friends you had as a couple have to pick sides and say things like, ‘Let’s stay in touch!’ and never talk to you again. Social Media allows you to take the initiative and DEFRIEND, DELETE, DEFOLLOW, DE-LINK, DEHANDLE, DECLINE. #NeverLikedYouAnyway

What a LIKE-able time to live!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to target the 7.63 billion people in the world, starting with the 280,000 Toastmasters in 144 countries who I’m hoping will LIKE, FOLLOW, FRIEND and LITTLEHEART me back.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sonia Aste is an engineer, writer and comedian. She’s a Toastmaster and member at Riverside Communicators Club.
More from Sonia on her website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram

D91 Leader Letter January 2023 Club Growth Update

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Club Growth Update

Reflecting on our membership growth: retaining members and converting guests

Since the start of the Toastmasters year, we have welcomed four new corporate clubs and 1054 new members to District 91. We are now at the halfway point of the Toastmasters year. Now is a good time to review how your club is doing. Here are a few things to consider:

1. Guests are the lifeblood of any Toastmasters club. If you are struggling to get guests to your meetings, you may want to review your marketing efforts. Please also review whether your club’s contact details (address and contact number) are up to date on ‘Find a Club” on the Toastmasters International website, and on your club’s website (if you have one).

2. Are you converting your guests into members? Please take time to speak to each guest at meetings and invite them to join your club, the fact that they have turned up means that they are ready to start their Toastmaster journey. They will stay if made to feel welcome and asked to join.

3. Do you have an onboarding process for new members? How new members are onboarded is key to the longevity of their membership.

  • Do you offer mentors?
  • How quickly are they onboarded to Pathways?
  • How quickly are they integrated within your clubs?

4. Are your members attending meetings and doing speeches and roles? If a member has not attended for a while, then please get in touch with them. You could even send a survey to all your members to see what your club could do better or conduct “moments of truth”.

5. Review your club success plan and check how you are doing against those original plans. If you didn’t create one, don’t worry, it’s not too late to put one together and plan the rest of the year.

6. Are your meetings fun and enjoyable? Try new things at your club such as themed meetings, debates etc. You could even visit other clubs to pick up further ideas.

The renewals window is open, and we would like every member to have reasons to stay within their club. This is especially important because happy members are attractive to guests who, in turn, will become our new members and future leaders within District 91.

I would recommend that you complete your renewals as early as possible. There will be an award of £50 for the first 30 clubs that renew 20 or more members by 28th February 2023. All renewals must be completed by 31st March 2023.

Debbie Williams

Club Growth Director

D91 Leader Letter January 2023 Program Update

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leader speaking to large audience

Program Quality Update

Training, contests, club success and the D91 Conference

We are now just over halfway through the Toastmasters year. It is a good time to review progress against your Distinguished Club profile.

At the District Officer Training this weekend we ran sessions to help Area and Division Directors identify what clubs need to achieve to become Distinguished by the end of June.

While becoming a Distinguished or higher achieving club is important for tracking members’ progress as well as that of the club itself, please also remember to have “high energy” and fun meetings, so that guests want to join, and members want to keep attending.

Training

The Club Officer Training sessions are now under way. A quick reminder that training in D91 is three hours long and includes a session specific to the officer’s specific role. It is important that training records are updated on a regular basis.

Area Directors, please let your Division Directors know as soon as possible who has attended your training and the role they perform at which club(s) as soon as possible so that the records can be updated. Doing this will avoid having to remind people to attend when in fact they have already attended a training.

Please also remind your clubs that if they have all seven club officers trained, they will win a set of club officer pins if this is the first time that they have achieved that goal this Toastmasters year. They can also win a £60 voucher if the club has already had 7 officers trained in the summer round of training.

Area and Division Training events can be found on the D91 Calendar

Contests

Please remember that club contests can be online, in-person or hybrid. Area and Division contests must be hybrid. This was agreed upon at the District Executive meeting in Brighton in September 2022.

Conference

The District 91 conference in May. The location contract is currently being reviewed and a conference update was provided at our District Officer Training over the weekend. Keep your eyes out for confirmation of the conference location very soon!

Diane Richardson

Program Quality Director

Distinguished Clubs, Educational Awards, Contests

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Congratulations!

Congratulations to the 47 clubs who have already renewed 20 or more members until September and have 5 or more Distinguished Club Points (DCP points) already. These 47 clubs are the first of many to gain Distinguished Club status. Another 16 clubs are close already to achieved distinguished status, they need just one or two more members to renew or one additional educational award.

Educational Awards

Unfortunately, 53 clubs have yet to record a single education award, yet I know from having visited some of these clubs that members are doing speeches and completing Pathways Levels. Please ask your Club President, VPE or Club Secretary to record your level completion after you have completed it. If you are unsure on how to complete a project, we will be continuing to run the new member drop in over the next few weeks, which will give both new and longstanding members who are unsure about how Pathways works. The next session with experienced Toastmaster Craig Moss will be at 5:00 pm on Sunday 23rd April, you can register via the link here: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZItfuGsqzgiGd0GtYFZdes1czpHG3-q9KLQ

Contests – A quick reminder

A quick reminder that if you are competing in any of the contests that you need to ensure that your club has paid the membership fee to Toastmasters International, otherwise you may not be eligible to compete in the Contest as officially you are not a member of Toastmasters even if you have paid your club. Again, with the International Speech contest your level 1 & 2 Pathways certificates must be registered with Toastmasters international.

1-21-100 – Trifecta

You may have seen some of the PR around the 1-21-100 incentive. Trifecta is another name that we are giving to the aim of 100%, 21 and 1 since it is like a sporting event with three elements to it. Debbie Williams our Club Growth Director is explaining in this blog post what the 21 means, but it is worth explaining why we have 100% and 1 as our two award criteria.

Why 100%, Why 1?

The aim at Toastmasters is to offer a great experiential learning experience using Pathways. This is why aim for 100% Pathways enrolment as it will help you strengthen your communication and leadership skills as you grow toward personal and professional success—all while having fun with others in the process! I often find that working withing a loose set of boundaries helps me to be more creative when developing ideas or writing speeches, rather than having unlimited options. Which is why we want all members to enroll in pathways.

The easiest way to demonstrate to others that you “the member” is benefiting from membership of Toastmasters is for you to show your progress by showing your educational certificate award, especially in corporate clubs where it may be an individual’s KPI. One award per member also encourages members to take a full an active role in each meeting they attend, rather than be a passive spectator, as it helps create fun and energetic meetings and brings about a faster learning experience .

Diane Richardson,

Program Quality Director, 2022-2023

The Laughing Toastmaster: New Year’s Resolution: Enough is Enough!

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I still have a massive hangover. It’s not my fault! I didn’t invent the ‘All-You-Can-Drink-Marathon’ that sums up December. Yes, I drank too much, ate like an ‘oink-oink’ and spent so much money on ‘auto-gifts’ (gifts for myself) that Santa charged me for excess baggage.

How did this happen?! I’m a Toastmaster! I’m supposed to have self-control, self-discipline…some willpower? Well, I don’t. It appears my will power reserves are as empty as my bank account.

Now before you raise your eyebrows in polite disapproval, let me state that I was not alone. Millions of people around the world partied so hard it made Bacchus look like a teetotaller. Who can blame us? There is so much NOT to look forward to. The climate crisis, the cost-of-living crisis, the not-over-yet-corona-crisis. Even those who don’t like alcohol (due to some deficiency in their DNA) had a drink!

As they say, ‘Escapism is best served with a MOJITO’.

But all good escapisms must come to an end and it’s time to face depressing, dreary, downcast January. I’m miserable! My dog’s miserable! Everyone’s miserable! Even positive people (aren’t they exhausting?) are going around with smiles as fake as my Gucci bag.

Why is it that on the gloomiest month of the year we decide to start resolutions? Surely that’s not good for our wellbeing. Recent studies show that only 2% of people who made New Year’s resolutions are successful! So, on top of feeling miserable, 98% of us will also end up feeling like total failures. It’s enough to drive you to drink! Except one of the main NYR is not to drink!

In fact, the top 4 most common resolutions are:

  1. Exercise More
  2. Lose Weight
  3. Drink Less
  4. Live Life to the Fullest

And there lies the problem! NYR are incompatible! Because dragging yourself to a swampy, sweaty gym, eating kale and quinoa (yuck!) and drinking H2O in pure form is certainly NOT living life to the fullest. It’s Living Life to the Dullest.

What can we do? Well, I’ve done some research and if you take a look at the five billion self-help books out there, watch the three trillion TED Talks and pay the £1000 an hour life coaches, they all say the same thing. If you want to achieve fulfilment and happiness, you have to accept yourself as you are. You need to say:

I AM ENOUGH.

Wow! Is that all?? What a relief! It’s not me that has to change! It’s other people who are NOT ENOUGH that need to take on those New Year Resolutions.

And who are these people? Well, I’m sure you all have your favourites, but here are my top 10 (in no particular order).

NYR for those who are NOT ENOUGH

  1. OFFSHORE ACCOUNT HOLDERS: will deport themselves to their respective off-shores until they do the honourable thing and start paying taxes here.
  1. TRAFFIC WARDENS: will add a 5 second grace period before issuing a parking ticket.
  1. MYSOGENIST: will be required to wear pantyhose. Forever.
  1. SOMMELIERS: will stop asking me to do their job by tasting the wine. Save me the embarrassment of saying, ‘ahhh … lovely’ without knowing what I am taking about.
  1. DENTISTS: will stop charging an arm and a leg for a tiny tooth.
  1. OVERLY POSITIVE PEOPLE: Will be fined. Heavily.
  1. WESTMINSTER: will stop using tax payers’ money to eat and drink. Take a Tupperware lunch and spiked coffee in a thermos like everybody else.
  1. ROADWORKS: will need to get written permission from everyone who is planning to use that road before commencing. No exceptions.
  1. INLAND REVENUE: any money given back to the tax payer due to an error on your part will include interest and a ‘We’re sorry’ card. Flowers would be a nice touch too.
  1. TOASTMASTER JUDGES: will need to have entered 100 competitions (and lost at least 50) to be able to ‘judge’ what we competitors go through.

Toastmasters and honoured friends, enough is enough! This year remind yourself YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH, ditch those stupid NYR and replace them with a list for those who ARE NOT.

Have a great 2023.

She’s a Toastmaster and member at Riverside Communicators Club.
More from Sonia on her website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram