District Administration

2024: Relatively Clean

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2024 is here. Toastmasters are putting the finishing touches on their New Year Resolutions. Each resolution includes a detailed project plan, meticulous milestones and that stubborn self-assurance that makes people dislike us. 

Meanwhile the rest of the world are downloading last year’s list, that will do, thank you very much.

Me? I have one NYR: ‘I will never have my cousin Kathy over again’. Not being petty, but she overstayed her welcome … after the first minute! She took one look at my flat and instantly began praising the merits of decluttering and housecleaning, which she claimed had helped her succeed and create the life she wanted.

I thought how boring! In my fantasy life I want a male stripper cleaning up after me, but I didn’t interrupt her tidy enthusiasm, thinking she would leave it at that.

But no, she’s American and has never encountered the words, ‘subtle’ or ‘polite’. She turns to me and says, ‘Your New Year’s resolution HAS to be to clean this place up! It’s a dump!’   

She continues, claiming a grubby home affects all aspects of your life, including finances and sex. I’m not sure how that works, unless bank interest rates are linked to airing your dirty laundry? As for sex, add the word ‘clean’ to it and it begins to sound like a chore.

To my utter horror she hands me a copy of ‘The Life–Changing Magic of Tidying’ (Best Seller – 13 million copies sold) and says ‘This book will change your life’. Well, it definitely changed our friendship. 

I felt like giving her ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Minding Your Own Business’ (Best Seller by Sonia Aste – Gazillion Copies Sold), but I haven’t written it yet. So instead, I just complained about her to my sister, which is a lot easier. I kept thinking, ‘Two more weeks with this condescending cleaning freak?’

I’m not going to lie, there’s been a couple of ‘minor incidents’ related to being untidy. Like when a box of books fell from the top of the closet causing a slight concussion (OK, two stiches). Or the time I lost my purse, cancelled all my credit cards in a panic only to find it behind the vodka bottles.

In contrast, Kathy’s house is hyper clean and tidy. It’s so clean the ‘white glove’ test wouldn’t be allowed, unless she washed it first. This is a woman that washes her Fairy Liquid bottle! In her house even Mr. Muscle has self-doubts.

The thing is she enjoys it. I’ve heard her proclaim, ‘Housecleaning gives me a sense of accomplishment’. Accomplishment?! That’s like people that love doing their tax returns! Surely something went seriously wrong with their DNA sequence. 

Besides, cleaning is sooo overrated! Look at rhinos mating. They don’t let a little mud stop them from getting on with the job, proving Kathy’s spotless suggestions just muddy the waters of pleasure.

Now take my great aunt Carmen. Her house is not yet, ‘Hoarders, Buried Alive’, but it’s in the mail. ‘Junk’ mail that is. Nevertheless, I love visiting her because she’s living proof that happiness has nothing to do with your home looking like the ‘Immaculate Conception’. (I was raised a Catholic – trust me that’s clean.)

What if I have to clutter-surf to get to her toilet? There’s comfort knowing there’s enough loo rolls for every backside in the world and sufficient bars of soap to clean at least one Glastonbury festival goer.

My great aunt went through the Spanish Civil war, so all that ‘stuff’ reassures her and gives her joy. She hoards items that were scarce in those years, like coffee, olive oil, hand grenades. A little scary, but no more terrifying than Kathy plastic coating her Chesterfield sofa ‘So it doesn’t get dirty’.

Maybe it’s just a matter of finding a middle ground. Somewhere that’s comfortable, but still leaves you with joy and happiness. Something like, ‘Keep my home relatively clean’. I’ve already started on this NYR. As a first step I’m throwing away things I don’t need. First to go ‘‘The Life–Changing Magic of Tidying’ (13 million copies sold). Minus one.

Happy New Year.

 

Sonia Aste is a Harvard MBA, Engineer, Meng, and a proud Toastmaster at Riverside Communicators Club.  More from her on website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram

Division J Nativity Play

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Just taking a break from the rehearsals from the Division J Nativity play to wish everyone a Happy Christmas from the Thames Valley & Welsh clubs.

Our Area Directors are enthusiastically practicing their lines – John Christie is simply divine as an angel and Helyn Ashford is perfectly cast as the Welsh Virgin Mary.

We end the year on 464 members in our five areas and we are targeting at least 600 members by the end of the Toastmaster year which would make us one of the strongest Divisions in the District. January is the perfect time to get new people in and take advantage of New Years resolutions.  Encourage friends to come along and make 2024 a perfect year for your club.

If you work for a company with more than 500 employees, have you considered setting up a corporate club?  HID Global did that earlier this year and became the 23rd club in the Division and has brought Toastmasters to a brand-new audience in South Wales.

For those who have been finding Toastmasters less challenging, Division J is also proud to be setting up an advanced club, Oxford International, an on-line only club for those who want to look towards being a professional speaker.

Division J in the first half of the year also had the most Club Officers trained in the District.  Only 3 clubs failed to get four or more officers trained in the summer – we are expecting every club to hit the target this winter – training is open until 29th Feb (yes, it’s a leap year!).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to help our District Newsletter team out of the donkey outfit… the zipper broke and they’ve been in there for hours!  I’m coming Nikita!!!

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Thanks Toastmasters! Mr & Mrs DTM

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Debs

I joined Toastmasters as I wanted to be able to deliver presentations to develop my own business. I was very shy and nervous at the first meeting but was made to feel very welcome. My determination to make progress led me to be one of the founder members and I soon started to take up officer roles.  I have been helped by many people, but Kit offered to mentor me beyond the first few speeches and his experience was invaluable and he was so generous with his time, with me and many others. He encouraged and supported me as President and then the Area Director. Oddly, there was no spark between us – just two people helping each other. That support became much more on the break-up of my marriage, with Kit standing by me through a serious mental health crisis. Clearly Kit is an active listener as he got the message and proposed to me a couple of days after risking death whilst white water rafting in Canada. I should have used the wedding planning as an HPL project, but the outcome was better than a DTM, it was a new start to my life with someone who cherishes me.

Kit

As a 25-year TM veteran my greatest pleasure of membership comes from helping members and seeing them grow. Debs’ confidence clearly grew as she worked her way through the old “Competent Communicator” programme. As her mentor I then encouraged her and guided her through leadership opportunities: club officer roles, area director and her high-performance leadership project. One of my favourite memories is co-presenting a workshop on mentoring at a division TLI with Debs. Much of this was done while working and living in Qatar, and president of a club in Doha. Getting up at 5 to fly back for our Basingstoke club meetings was a bit of a drag. What I had paid forward came back with interest following the break-up of my marriage in the form of Debs support for me. The years of friendship through our TM membership formed a solid foundation on which we built a life partnership. However, there was one speech I was not allowed to help with: her bride speech.