By Sina Behbhani, HOD Speakers Club, DivL Area61
I would like
to talk about a shared problem we all experience but we are too polite to talk
about. Then I will explain how to support members through three stages of
transformation in Toastmasters International.
Toastmasters
provides a mutually supportive environment, but what does it mean and how can
we practice that?
Have you
ever been in a situation where you have received irrelevant evaluation or
advice when you have carefully crafted your speech? You may think “So, didn’t
they get it or I was not clear enough?”.
In my experience, both can be right.
There is no
doubt that evaluation helps speakers, tremendously, to develop their
presentations and the structures of their speeches, however, a speaker needs to
be aware of the extent of adapting to the evaluations offered.
The truth
is, even if you deliver a perfect speech, some evaluators will analyse and
criticise you, somehow, because that’s what they are good at! There is no end
to this criticism and that is completely natural because not everyone has the
same taste. Also, it is not practical to take all advice and ideas on board,
because evaluation may take you in a different direction every time. Accepting
all evaluation can kill your style and confidence in my opinion!
In fact,
many individuals may think that you must become like them and convert to their
style to become perfect! They will criticise you until that happens (god
forbid!) so, the question is, where should we draw that line?
If you have
been long enough in Toastmasters, you know that every single person has a
particular style just like yourself. The real art of mutual support is to help
members find their own style and support them to achieve their own objective.
Some people like to attend contests, some people like to deliver long informative
workshops at their workplace and some like to become motivational and
inspiring. That is why we have ten fantastic pathways to choose from. So the
golden rule is to offer safety and support to each other.
I think one
of the biggest mistakes in Toastmasters is that we do not emphasise an
individual’s organic goals/choices and unintentionally redirect their efforts
towards the contests. It is really important to understand why the individual
has come to a club before starting his/her journey and how the club can serve
that individual to achieve the desired goal. No one has come to Toastmasters’
to do speech contests, because before they join, they didn’t know such a thing
exist! Let’s always remeber the true intention of the individual and remind
them about it before converting them into contestants to make the club proud.
Such an
attitude allows members to develop their style and that is exactly where
members start the journey of success by going through three stages of
transformation.
The three
stages of transformations are gaining confidence, structuring the speeches and
developing spontaneous speech.
For the
first stage, members need emotional support to be able to stand in front of the
audience and perform their speech. as much as praising and compliments
strengthen an individual’s confidence at this stage, technical evaluation,
criticising and mentioning minor mistakes can obstruct an individual’s growth
or make them back-off on the first step.
In the
second stage, members start to build up a well-rounded and structured speech to
impact, inform, inspire and influence the audience. As much as technical
evaluation can strengthen members influential skills, diverting the individual
from their main objective and offering competition centred evaluation can dishearten
or confuse the member.
The final
stage is when the individual has learned the techniques and is ready to talk
about any desirable subject spontaneously on stage in a conversational style.
Spontaneous speech provides opportunities for an authentic choice of words with
the appropriate audience without rigid planning in advance. This is not an
‘unprepared’ speech, but it is the ability to present and lead with confidence.
Recognising
and encouraging members unique flavour of topic and style on this final phase
can strengthen the individual but pushing the individual to follow a rigid
club’s structure can make the member uncomfortable and eventually leave the
club. This, I saw over and over.
Experiencing
fantastic support from my peers, I managed to reach the third stage. I also
experienced the difficulties that unsupportive or contest centred evaluation
caused in my journey.
Now, even
though I happily perform my speech spontaneously, still I get the same spectrum
of evaluation from members who have been inspired to members who try to make me
like themselves and never satisfied!
I would like
to offer one and only one piece of advice: You are unique. Become comfortable
in your own skin! Speaking and leadership opportunities are presented to you in
your everyday life, not only in competitions.