The Laughing Toastmaster: New Year’s Resolution: Enough is Enough!

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I still have a massive hangover. It’s not my fault! I didn’t invent the ‘All-You-Can-Drink-Marathon’ that sums up December. Yes, I drank too much, ate like an ‘oink-oink’ and spent so much money on ‘auto-gifts’ (gifts for myself) that Santa charged me for excess baggage.

How did this happen?! I’m a Toastmaster! I’m supposed to have self-control, self-discipline…some willpower? Well, I don’t. It appears my will power reserves are as empty as my bank account.

Now before you raise your eyebrows in polite disapproval, let me state that I was not alone. Millions of people around the world partied so hard it made Bacchus look like a teetotaller. Who can blame us? There is so much NOT to look forward to. The climate crisis, the cost-of-living crisis, the not-over-yet-corona-crisis. Even those who don’t like alcohol (due to some deficiency in their DNA) had a drink!

As they say, ‘Escapism is best served with a MOJITO’.

But all good escapisms must come to an end and it’s time to face depressing, dreary, downcast January. I’m miserable! My dog’s miserable! Everyone’s miserable! Even positive people (aren’t they exhausting?) are going around with smiles as fake as my Gucci bag.

Why is it that on the gloomiest month of the year we decide to start resolutions? Surely that’s not good for our wellbeing. Recent studies show that only 2% of people who made New Year’s resolutions are successful! So, on top of feeling miserable, 98% of us will also end up feeling like total failures. It’s enough to drive you to drink! Except one of the main NYR is not to drink!

In fact, the top 4 most common resolutions are:

  1. Exercise More
  2. Lose Weight
  3. Drink Less
  4. Live Life to the Fullest

And there lies the problem! NYR are incompatible! Because dragging yourself to a swampy, sweaty gym, eating kale and quinoa (yuck!) and drinking H2O in pure form is certainly NOT living life to the fullest. It’s Living Life to the Dullest.

What can we do? Well, I’ve done some research and if you take a look at the five billion self-help books out there, watch the three trillion TED Talks and pay the £1000 an hour life coaches, they all say the same thing. If you want to achieve fulfilment and happiness, you have to accept yourself as you are. You need to say:

I AM ENOUGH.

Wow! Is that all?? What a relief! It’s not me that has to change! It’s other people who are NOT ENOUGH that need to take on those New Year Resolutions.

And who are these people? Well, I’m sure you all have your favourites, but here are my top 10 (in no particular order).

NYR for those who are NOT ENOUGH

  1. OFFSHORE ACCOUNT HOLDERS: will deport themselves to their respective off-shores until they do the honourable thing and start paying taxes here.
  1. TRAFFIC WARDENS: will add a 5 second grace period before issuing a parking ticket.
  1. MYSOGENIST: will be required to wear pantyhose. Forever.
  1. SOMMELIERS: will stop asking me to do their job by tasting the wine. Save me the embarrassment of saying, ‘ahhh … lovely’ without knowing what I am taking about.
  1. DENTISTS: will stop charging an arm and a leg for a tiny tooth.
  1. OVERLY POSITIVE PEOPLE: Will be fined. Heavily.
  1. WESTMINSTER: will stop using tax payers’ money to eat and drink. Take a Tupperware lunch and spiked coffee in a thermos like everybody else.
  1. ROADWORKS: will need to get written permission from everyone who is planning to use that road before commencing. No exceptions.
  1. INLAND REVENUE: any money given back to the tax payer due to an error on your part will include interest and a ‘We’re sorry’ card. Flowers would be a nice touch too.
  1. TOASTMASTER JUDGES: will need to have entered 100 competitions (and lost at least 50) to be able to ‘judge’ what we competitors go through.

Toastmasters and honoured friends, enough is enough! This year remind yourself YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH, ditch those stupid NYR and replace them with a list for those who ARE NOT.

Have a great 2023.

She’s a Toastmaster and member at Riverside Communicators Club.
More from Sonia on her website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram

COTs, the May Conference, Contest Eligibility and Club Elections

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COTs are Back!

We are already had 25% of the second round of Club Officer Training period done! A few Division and Area Directors have already started to plan their events in December and into January next year. In the first round 126 clubs had four or more officers trained which means they are still eligible for a DCP point to count towards Distinguished status if four or more club officers are also trained in the second round of training. Once again, the district is offering incentives if all 7 officers attend training! If a club has already won a set of club officer pins, they will receive a £60 voucher from the district, if a club achieves this for the first time, then we will reward the club with a set of club officer pins. As with the first time to encourage as many members as possible to accept leadership positions the seven roles must be filled by at least six individuals. The second COT training round ends on 28th February. If you do attend training in another district, then you need to let the organiser know that they need to contact me and confirm that their training session last for three or more hours.

The Corporate lunch time COT sessions have already started. Each session is between 12 and 1 pm, every day this week the last session is a Q&A session this coming Monday 12th December. To gain a training credit a club officer needs to attend 3 or more sessions. We are also running a Corporate Club officer Training session on the 16th December starting at 7:00 am.

Conference Date 13th & 14 May 2023

Please note that due to the coronation of King Charles iii on Saturday 6th May we have had to change the date of the D91 conference to 13th & 14th May 2023. We also have had to change the venue, but we are in final discussions with three Central London locations and should announce the venue next week.

International Speech Contest – Eligibility Rules

A quick reminder for everyone that the eligibility rules to compete in the International Speech Contest have changed this year. To enter the contest a member must have either a DTM including a “legacy” DTM or have Level 1 and 2 Certificates in pathways. The old qualification of 6 or more speeches from the Competent Communicator manual has been removed for contestants in this year’s rule book. When the PQD team did a survey in July we estimated that about two members per club would be affected.

Club Elections

A quick reminder to the few clubs in D91 who elect officers every 6 months that you must submit your new officer list by 31st December. Great to see that two have already done so but there are five clubs still to submit their list to Toastmasters International.

Area Director Visits – Thank You

A huge thank you to all Club Officers who helped their Area Director’s complete their visit reports. The trio reads each report, and it is encouraging to read that so many clubs are holding great meetings. In the first round of visits 161 reports were submitted. Please do take note of what you do well and keep doing that. Thanks, should also go to the Area Directors who took the time and trouble to write the reports.

Seasons Greetings

Finally with Christmas just around the corner I would like to wish every member season’s greeting and a relaxing time off and a happy new year. I look forward to collaborating with you all again in 2023.

Diane Richardson,

Program Quality Director, 2022-2023

Club Growth Newsletter – January 2023

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Renewals

Happy New Year! The renewals window is now open. Some clubs experienced delays in their September renewals, so I encourage you to submit them early.  To further incentivize you, there will be an early payment award of £50 for the first 30 clubs that submit their renewals with a minimum of 20 members by the end of February 2023 at the latest.

Welcome to New Members – The Road to 5000

Did you know that since July 1st 2022 to date, District 91 has gained 936 new members?

A piece of additional news on our goal to achieve 5000 unique members by June 2023, we currently have 3468 unique members.  Well done to all clubs for achieving this. One of these new Clubs, PA Consulting is featured below:

PA Consulting

Rosie Wainwright the Club President wrote on LinkedIn commenting after their second meeting online:

“If you know me well enough, then you’ll know I’ve done quite a bit of public speaking in my lifetime. It’s taken years of practice to turn that sick feeling you get right before a speech into a feeling of excitement. It’s taken years to change my mindset from “what if I mess up and forget my words” to “what impact can I have on the audience with what I’m about to say”. The journey is still on-going, and you only get better through continuous learning, making mistakes and practice.

At PA Consulting we pride ourselves on developing our people and I’m so proud of the journey we’ve taken this past month. I knew I couldn’t be the only one that wanted to improve my skills when it came to public speaking, so when I presented the idea of setting up a public speaking club with Toastmasters International at PA, I couldn’t have imagined a better outcome.

I’m excited to announce that we have 100+ colleagues across the UK who are involved in PA’s Toastmasters, with the potential of opening more opportunities overseas. It’s been such a pleasure networking across the firm and meeting everyone that’s been involved as a member (I would tag you all but there’s a character limit!). It goes without saying there was no way I could have set this up alone. A fantastic group of leaders at PA stepped forward to support and I am ever so grateful.

I can’t thank you all enough for making this happen, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. Who knew you could feel so energised from an after-work meeting ay? Until the next meeting!”

Laura Autumn Cox, a PA Consulting employee and new Member of the Club also commented:

“I’ve already met some incredible people not just in PA and they’re so encouraging and it’s really good to know that this is something that lots of people want to get better at and lots of people have good, tangible strategies for improvement”

Incentives

District 91 offers incentives for clubs to grow their memberships.  Winners of the Net 5 Incentive are listed below.  This is awarded to the first 20 clubs who, by the 31st December 2022, achieve net growth of five new members from their 1st July 2022 base number.  The great news is that 66 clubs managed to achieve this.  However, the first 20 clubs are listed below and have won £50.

Congratulations to the following clubs:

  • Bristol Central Speakers
  • Broadgate Speakers
  • Riverside Communicators
  • Worthing Speaker’s Club
  • Beckenham Communicators
  • TPR Speakers Club
  • Central London Toastmasters
  • London Public Speakers
  • Bank Street Toastmaster
  • Kings Cross Speakers
  • City Women Speakers
  • HOD Speakers Club
  • Farnham Speakers
  • Early Bird Speakers
  • Paddington Toastmasters
  • MLP London Bridge
  • Kings Cross Speakers
  • Bayes Speakers

For more details on incentives check out the incentives page here: https://d91toastmasters.org.uk/members/resources/incentives/

Debbie’s Top Tips for Club Growth

  • The best way to pick up tips and ideas for your club is to visit other Toastmasters’ clubs.Other clubs may spark ideas that you can bring back to your own club, give it a try!
  • Are your club details (address, contact name and telephone number) up to date on Toastmasters International, your clubs’ website and any other place where your clubs’ details are displayed e.g. google maps, meetup etc?This is the time of year when potential guests may contact you.  Now is a good time to ensure all details are displaying the correct information.
  • Recognition of your clubs’ successes will draw interest from others.If your club is celebrating an anniversary or is holding a special annual event, then celebrate this loudly.  Equally, don’t forget to celebrate individual member successes in your club as this will inspire guests and other members

This leaves me to wish you all Happy New Year and as you ponder the year ahead, here is a reminder of the Toastmasters Promises:

As a member of Toastmasters International and my club, I promise  

  • To attend club meetings regularly
  • To prepare all of my projects to the best of my ability, basing them on the Toastmasters education program
  • To prepare for and fulfil meeting assignments
  • To provide fellow members with helpful, constructive evaluations
  • To help the club maintain the positive, friendly environment necessary for all members to learn and grow
  • To serve my club as an officer when called upon to do so
  • To treat my fellow club members and our guests with respect and courtesy
  • To bring guests to club meetings so they can see the benefits Toastmasters membership offers
  • To adhere to the guidelines and rules for all Toastmasters education and recognition programs
  • To act within Toastmasters’ core values of integrity, respect, service and excellence during the conduct of all Toastmasters’ activities

Debbie Williams
Club Growth Director, 2022-2023

News Round Up from Division B

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Division B – The Brilliant Division

What a couple of months here in Division B, or Division Brilliant Bounceback as I think we should call it!
 
Andy Hessey
Andy Hessey

For those whom I haven’t met; I’m Andy Hessey and I’m the Division Director of Division B which covers Central South West London from Kensington and Hammersmith, to Southwark and down to Clapham and Brixton.  I’ve been in Toastmasters over six years and maybe more familiar to people in D91 as #Zoomtroll at contests and conferences.  Yes .. I am THAT troll!

So why on earth is Division B called Division Brilliant Bounceback?  Well, to put it bluntly… Division B is back, baby! I was appointed in mid-October.  On my first day, I had just two out of my five Area Directors but wow, have we turned things around in the last few weeks!

Areas and Directors

Let’s start our whistlestop tour of the Division by paying tribute to my Area Director team.  The two old hands are Chris Jolly and Flora Ruffin.  Let me tell you, as a DTM this isn’t Chris’ first rodeo and his experience across West London’s Area B6 is vital and Flora is the steady hand across Area B9.  These two areas have some really strong established clubs such as London Athenians, London Corinthians and London Business School as well as one the District’s newest clubs FTI Consulting

Area B8 will be ruled by Aneeta Phillip who is also the VPE at London Victorians.  You’ll recognise Aneeta as she’s always got a smile on her face and is going to be a wonderful addition to the team.  As well as those Victorians, Aneeta’s patch takes her South of the river to Brixton and Clapham.  Area B52’s new Area Director is Luca Marengo and he will be bringing his enthusiasm and his Italian charm to his clubs including Polish Your Polish and Kings Speakers.

While my team are awesome we are still missing one arm – we are searching for someone to work with Area B18 in the heart of Victoria and Holborn.  I always say that my year as Area Director was so much fun, you get to really stretch your leadership skills.  If that sounds like something that would appeal to you, get in touch.  You don’t have to be based in that area to become their Area Director, so what’s holding back?

I cannot wait to see what happens in the International Speech Contest in the Spring.  We have a huge pool of talent in the Division and a great history of success… and for other Divisions; don’t be too upset when we sweep the board at the District contest in May!

Division B Contests

We now enter December having crowned two excellent Division speech champions with London Business School’s Aruna Shanmugarajha strictly Samba dancing his way in the Humorous Speech Contest.  In a really tight and genuinely funny contest, Aruna was joined by London Victorian’s Adam Paldyna who was laughing his way through heartbreak and Joel Morales bringing home the bronze medal for London Cardinals by making lemonade!

In the topics contest, all I can say is that the four bravest people in London were the ones on the topics stage.  Did we softball them with an airy-fairy question?  Did we give them something full of gravitas asking them how they would solve world peace?  Did we buffalo!

What we asked them was simple – “Please explain why you decided to run naked through the bear enclosure at London Zoo covered in honey” … Now, I don’t know about you, but I think this is a fundamental question that needs answers!

Former District Director, Florian Bay from London Victorians set the tone by stepping onto the stage and whipping off his belt like a Chippendale and gave us a full-blown defence of his actions and ended up taking the title.  Jakub Sokolowski from Polish Your Polish who has only been a Toastmaster for a couple of months put up a brave battle against the bears and escaped with 2nd place while Harvey Domingos came an impressive third.

I cannot wait to see what happens in the International Speech Contest in the Spring.  We have a huge pool of talent in the Division and a great history of success… and for other Divisions; don’t be too upset when we sweep the board at the District contest in May!

Watch Out!

Division B may have been in a bit of a hiatus at the start of the Toastmaster year, but we are roaring (a bit like those bears at London Zoo!).  With just under 500 unique members – a fifth of whom have joined since July, we are a Division on the up.

Expect many many things from Division Brilliant Bounceback in the second half of the programme year and if the thought of being in the slow lane is not something that you want, come and join a Division B club.  Don’t forget you can be a dual member so you don’t have to leave your friends behind to come and ride on the B Train.

Andy Hessey,

Division Director, Division B, 2022-2023